FLORIDA, The Summary

This is my first day back from my Florida vacay, and it's a good thing no one tried to talk to me at work. I'm definitely in a post-partum (party?) mood, so I need my quiet time to reflect on the weekend (and my ever-so-lovely tan). In the meantime, here's a short rundown of the weekend:

-1630 miles
-13 CDs from my audio book
-5 days
-350 (give or take) doll hairs
-10lbs of crawfish
-3 beach excursions
-1 frightened armadillo
-2 trips to the climbing gym (sigh)
-8lbs of seashells
-5 $6-each Framboise Lambics (aka Kool-aid and crack)
-4oo other beers
-1 handle of Bacardi Limon
-1 4-ft tall tequila piñata
-20 (or so) awesome-ass sisters on any given day
-4 free pinball games (!)
-3 (at least) stolen items
-30 minutes spent cramming 4 girls into a photobooth
-10 minutes of trampoline bungee jumping
-8 gajillion pictures
-2 hours crying on the drive back
-1 painfully frustrated heart
-1 painfully determined heart (it might be the same one)
-too many goodbyes to count

Countdown sequence initiated!

I'll be trekking back to Florida in T minus 70 hours for the much anticipated Alumni Weekend! Although there was some initial disappointment (read: absolute devastation and heartbreak) when I heard the formal was canceled, I'm still looking forward to what the weekend has in store.

I'm planning to leave straight from work by 8am...I'll already have the VDub packed up with vacay essentials (flip flops, oversized hat, Eppie, etc.), so I (hopefully) won't have to go back home before setting off. The Got is flying into Orlando and insisting that The Puerto Rican drive her to town that night; we don't want to waste one minute of drinking sisterly bonding.

It may not be much...but it's ours.

I 100% guarantee that I'll catch the skin cancer from this trip. It's been so long since I've been to beach that I'm considering just camping out all weekend. As long as The Got and I have somewhere to plug in the blender and I have nearby restroom facilities (I can't bring myself to make use of the ocean), we'll be set. The grandlil' discussed a game night also, so we'll see how that goes. Usually people will only play with us if The Got and I are on separate teams -- I'm sorry, that's just not gonna happen.

Monday night will be my last. Wing Night. Ever (maybe). It's also Mike the Bike's last wing night before he moves to Nantucket, so it seems only right to go out with a bang: a couple pitchers of Hatteras Red, copious amounts of wings (teriyaki and island jerk, yum), the best freakin' onion rings ever...so, pretty much the same as every other wing night. I'll probably finally pick up a tshirt while I'm there...I'm such a sucker for souvenirs.

With such a cute logo, how could you not love it??

In addition to wing night, I also must hit up Rolli, Java Surf, Skewers, and Thai Thai...that's a lot of eatin' for such a short visit. I hope to make it over to the climbing gym, too, if I manage to break free from the inevitable food-induced coma.

Many a picture will be posted from the weekend so that the world (ha) can see The Got and me in all of our margarita-clouded, lobsterfied glory.

Mama Didn't Raise No (April) Fool

Y'all, it's April. When did this happen? I can't believe it's been over three months since I transferred my belongings from a cramped storage unit to a slightly more cramped moving truck and got the hell out of Dodge (or Florida). It seems like it was just yesterday that I was starting to hyperventilate and have chest constrictions on the I-95 entrance ramp...ah, memories.

Anyway, I was inspired the other day by NTKOG's April Fools' prank (which was subtle and hella funny) and started thinking about some of shenanigans that my friends and I have gotten away with. Most of them were harmless, and all of them were hilarious (to us). Shall we take a little stroll along Hijinks Lane?

Revenge is a Dish Best Served from an Aerosol Can: The Phis were having a pie-chucking (or something like that) money raiser on campus; my friend Asian Squawkbox* had an exam in her next class and didn't want to be covered with whip creaminess, but her request fell on deaf ears. We decided to get back at Thick-Headed Offender by tricking him into coming to our dorm to fix the roommate's printer (believable because 1. her printer NEVER worked 2. THO was totally smitten with the roomie). When he stepped into our hall, five of us ambushed him with about 15 cans of Redi-Whip. This turned into a dairy-rich slip 'n slide of awesomeness that lasted until our RA came out and threatened us with bodily harm if we didn't clean up the mess IMMEDIATELY.

Welcome Committee: I'm not proud of this one, but it wouldn't be a fair representation if I omitted it. Pathological Liar was one of our on-campus apartment neighbors, and seriously, this bish lied. about. everything (ex: When I learned that my mother had breast cancer, I made an emotional announcement during a sorority meeting. This hoface decided right at that very moment to also (tearily) inform us that her aunt and her grandmother had developed cancer. If looks could kill...). Anyway, we decided one night to properly welcome her to the dorms, so we TP'ed her bike (which was chained to the rail in front of her door) and tied a maze of yarn between the railing and her doorknob. We then filled trashcans with water, propped them against her door, knocked, and ran like hell (five feet away). Naturally, the cans fell over, but we didn't get the reaction we had hoped for...so we threw caution (and tact) to the wind. One person went over to chat up PL while another ran by and threw a bucket of water into the apartment. Like I said, not my proudest moment...but we did help clean up the water afterwards...brownie points??

Higher Education: A few of us trained monkeys graduate students worked in a general computer lab that undergrads could also use. As a rule, you never leave your computer unlocked or logged in. This, however, was a difficult rule for some unfortunate souls to absorb. The most effective way of getting the message across to them was to change the desktop background, then lock the computer so the image is highly visible and could only be changed by the delinquent owner. Some choice visuals aids included (not limited to): angry badgers, naked men (for the guys), My Little Pony, and neon all-caps hate letters.

Would this not frighten you into submission?

The Office: When not e-terrorizing fellow students with traumatizing images and threats, we settled with unplugging our fellow grad student's mouse and connecting it to the the adjacent computer; making copies of a paperclip onto blank paper and loading them back into the copier for the professors to discover on their exams (not only does this amuse the students, but also someone inevitably tries to locate the rogue paperclip in the machine); and covering a labmate's entire computer/desk with Post-It notes.

Whale Tale: For some unknown reason, The Got had an inflatable whale pool in her living room during her freshman year. Honey, you're just asking to get pranked. Some friends and I devised an elaborate (ha) plan to steal the whale, strap in to the roof of my car, hide in some remote location on campus, and leave clues for The Got and Co. to find us and our hostage. This would've gone swimmingly (HA!) had The Got not been walking back to her dorm as they were toting the whale across campus. Being the quick thinker that she is, my roommate Dhood decided the best idea was to create a diversion and pants-ed The Got in front of God and the world. They managed to get away with the pool, we got it strapped onto THE TROOPER (must be said in a booming voice), and followed through with the genius plan.

Secret Lovers: By some stroke of luck, he Got and I came into possession of a laminated poster of Justin Timberlake from his NSYNC days. We were living together at the time (the Vinings, represent!) and we got a lot of amusement out of leaving JT taped to each other's bathroom mirrors with little notes that said stuff like "I just wanna love you." Eventually JT got more risqué with his hiding spots, and we'd find him hanging up in the shower or in our beds. The last time I remember seeing JT was when Margot was packing up to head to NJ for break...I managed to sneak him into her suitcase when she wasn't looking. Margot discovered her stowaway once she got home in NJ, along with a note from TSA saying her luggage had be searched. Neither of us are sure what happened to him after that, but it's probably for the best...

You see these shackles? Baby, I'm your slave.

* Names have been changed to protect the innocent (and annoying).